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Episode #127 – Existence

May 24, 2009

with Martha Kilpatrick and John Enslow

(M) You exist because He exists in you, and you exist in Him. You’re in union with Existence; which is only Jesus. You see that, and then that gift of your body is considered worship. But what happens in you when He manifests is that you’re exuberant in Him, you’re amazed in Him, you boast in Him; that is worship. When you have seen Him in your own body, knowing it’s not you, that you’re nothing. Nobody can praise you then, when you’re in that place. They… Any praise you have, you know, you know it’s only Jesus. And so you just… it doesn’t affect you, it doesn’t, it doesn’t touch your ego. You have known so finally and securely that you’re nothing. He’s leveled you. And I suppose we have both aspects, both inferiority and superiority in all of us. And God inside of me levels the mountain and brings up the valley, so that the path is level to Jesus. And…But that… Worship of the New Testament to me is that. It’s the presentation of your body  to allow the manifestation of Christ to come forth. And then you have the most incredible, inexpressible joy, because you know and have seen Him intimately. And that is your boast. He is your existence. For me to live is Christ. It is so real. I’ve been in Titus this morning in the Amplified. “Looking for the glorious appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself on our behalf that He might redeem us from all iniquity, purify for Himself a people eager and enthusiastic about living a life that is good and filled with beneficial deeds.” That means living a life filled with Him. And that is the Christian life. And that is worship. When you worship the One who is your existence, your everything; literally your everything, your breath, your every breath. What else did He show you?
(J) It’s… if you think about what we just done in the podcast about going to the incorrect god, isn’t that exactly what going and looking for merit in yourself, either your groveling self or your superior self. You know, what is it? It’s just going to an incorrect god, because you are defining yourself by your understanding and knowledge, and that’s pride.
(M) And it’s creating your own god.
(J) Creating yourself as god.
(M) Oooo. Ok, worse.
(J) I just, I’m sick of continually going to God with concepts and thoughts that are unworthy of God. And you know, let’s just come to the playing field and say ok, I resolve the fact that yes, I have no merit in myself. But He has all the merit, and all the choosing, and all the desire, and all the calling that I need;  all the power, all the self-control, all the, ah, patient endurance, all the godliness, all the moral excellence, He has it all. So stop looking for it in you, because it’s not there.
(M) And there’s another error, John. It’s saying I need, give me Your self-control, no.
(J) Be self-control.
(M) Be my life, and in my life be the self-control. We want to separate out His attributes and make them ours. We don’t understand that union, that incredible unimaginable union that I am in Him, and He is in me, and what He has and is, is mine. And I can… I cannot exist apart from Him, and I cannot exist as an expression of Him, I can only exist as Him. If that’s strange to understand, it’s… I understand if it’s strange to understand. But literally I do not exist except in Him. And I had an experience of prayer the other day, to realize that He has to have our participation in His existence and manifestation on this earth. So I was saying ok, what can I, what can I pray for this person in crisis? And He said very simply, very quietly, pray for faith. So I just prayed for faith. And I realized it was the entire solution; probably is of everything that we ever go through. Probably the need is just faith. And that prayer was answered, and the person soared in faith. And I realized that Jesus is ever interceding, but He has to have a vessel on earth to manifest His prayer. That’s what prayer is.
(J) Umhmm.
(M) Nothing of my idea. If I go to pray out of my idea, I’m not touching heaven. If I tell God what to do, that isn’t prayer. But it’s another aspect of His existence in us, is as the Great Intercessor. And it’s very simple and complete and sufficient as you’re seeing there. He is everything that He asks of me.
(J) Well maybe ah, our quiet-time, our early morning time, should it not be like Mary Magdalene, follow her, and run to the tomb of our shell, our human life, and see the Risen Christ.
(M) Wow. His resurrection was so much more than coming out of the grave and off the cross and being alive again. What He did in that process, when He was resurrected, everyone in Him was resurrected too. This is resurrection life in me. ‘Christ is risen’, in me. This morning in your, in your communication with Him, resurrection life rose in you to explain resurrection life. It is so vital and living and dynamic. And not only did Jesus rise from the dead, He rose me from the dead. I’m not sure that’s the right words, but I understand it. He caused me to rise up with Him into a life transcendent, beyond, to such a degree beyond humanity, so far beyond capacity of humanity, that superiority and inferiority either one, are completely ludicrous, irrelevant. And to be stuck there in that self-focus, which we are, for years, to be stuck there is to miss the very life we seek. It’s just not to be found in me. And the despair… Early on He would say to me, your despair is just pride. You expected more of yourself? Well, I didn’t. You put yourself above Me to despair of yourself. Disappointed in yourself? That’s pride. Frustrated with yourself? That’s pride, not faith, not My life. My life literally is Christ only. And yours is only Christ. I’ve often been intrigued by they phrase, the fullness of Christ. And I’ve always, I’ve often thought oh my goodness, how would you ever get to the fullness of Christ? And, and the question is true, we won’t live long enough in this physical life to do so. But we all possess the fullness of Christ. And we can have as much of that fullness as we live in the humility that I am nothing. See, inferiority is not humility; people, who grovel, as you say, are not humble. Some of the most evil people are the inferior arrogant. But to truly have the humility that I’m nothing is the door for Christ to be everything. There’s only God. And the joy of being nothing is that you’re free of all those driving lusts, those compelling human ambitions; you’re just simply free. And the way you get there, let’s go to that. How do you get there, to know that you’re nothing? By the cross, by life’s pressure, chastenings, confrontations, by failures, by humiliations, that’s how you get to know you’re nothing; you can do nothing, you can be nothing. Hallelujah, I’m free of me. And there is a place where you can live in that, that place. But the cross comes to kill pride, John. That’s exactly what the cross is after. And God knows exactly where your pride is. Is it is the approval of man? Ok, that’s where you’re going to be hit. Is it in ability to work? That’s where you’ll be hit. Is it in achievement, or mental prowess? That’s where the cross will come, precisely to the manifestation of your pride, until you come to the place where you say, oh, well, I’m nothing. And I’m happy to be; I’m a child. What is a child? Nothing. And that’s what He means by go back and be a child. But every life that crashes, every Christian life that crashes is because of the refusal of the cross. If you save your life… if you save your life it is to save your pride.  You will lose it; it’s absolute, it’s concrete. I have something, John. You and I have learned a lot about…much disease is self-hatred. The sin of so many things that we are sick with is self-hatred. Do you know that self-hatred is pride? It’s, disappointment and despair in yourself.  It’s hating yourself because you’re not God, you’re not perfect, you’re not this or you’re not that, and that’s just pride. To hate yourself is to kill yourself, as a punishment for not being superior. And even some of the most arrogant people I’ve known, in the end I’ve realized at the bottom of it is self-hatred. Superiority also is self-hatred. Superiority is mostly a lie. And the superior person really knows it, and hates themselves for that superiority. And so I think if we could just see what pride is, and let God slay it, and let it, let it go to the grave… Pride is why we had to die completely why we are unredeemable, why we had to be a new creation. It’s…sin is pride. And if we could see that the rising up of pride is the most dangerous, to us, sin. And I ask God to expose it. Show all of us the pride of thinking I’m something. It’s what He said to me this morning: pride is thinking you’re something, something superior or something inferior. No, freedom is to say I’m nothing. I’m the same as everybody, and everybody’s  the same as me. We’re all nothing without God.
(J) Umhmm.
(M) So it’s the root of bitterness. Bitterness is just pride. And self-hatred of all things is simply pride. I hate myself for not being what I think I should be. When Christ is what I should be. And there is One life in the universe, everything is empty, everything is a vacuum that will, He is going to fill when all things are summed up in Him.

John Enslow:
Living with anticipation of how Christ is to reveal Himself in the coming days. Martha has an urgent message of hope and preparation for times of trouble and crisis. These times and the times that are coming are to be trying, but the Lord has an intention, and a joy in revealing His holy purpose. We wish to invite you to “The Coming One”, our upcoming conference held in Atlanta, Georgia, May 29th through the 31st.
 

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