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with Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
(M) If your values, and I pointed to Psalm 101 as God gave it to me in 1978, and He said these are the values I want you to have. These are the decisions I want you to make. Oh my, they’re very strong there. David made some very restrictive choices on his life. The choices he made in the end had to do with his relationships. If you choose to hate evil, if you choose to live for the truth, then when someone comes into your life with obvious difference of values, you can’t walk together for very long.
(J) So you’re saying that the Hebrew scripture “lean your personality”, that it is leaning your roles, it is leaning your habits, but that those are encompassed because your personalities incorporate those aspects.
(M) That’s good; you’re still back on that scripture.
(J) I’m sorry but…
(M) That’s good, because your personality is really everything you are. Your habits are what you do. Your roles are what you let people control you, or you do. But your real life is the choices of character, and that’s how God deals with you.
(J) So they come out of it. Those aspects of your life come out of your personality which is your choices.
(M) Yes, and they are affected by it. They change according to how I change.
(J) Can you read that scripture again? I’m sorry I’m still on that scripture…
(M) That’s the scripture I chose, so we need to be on it. “Leaning of the entire personality on God, in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness.”
(M) The entire personality.
(J) I mean that’s huge.
(M) It is. It’s everything. And you see how without the development of personality you won’t ever come to lean on God. Because if you choose those things David chose, I will set no vile thing before my eyes, I will silence the wicked every morning he said. I’ve said well what does that mean? There are many choices in that Psalm 101 that required God to fulfill them. It has for me. What constitutes a vile thing? Whatever the Spirit forbids you to see.
(J) It may be Julia Childs cooking, or it may be some other thing.
(M) Right. Right. There was a woman cooking that I didn’t feel like her character was something I wanted to absorb. She was delightful, but not much integrity. So it affects everything. You will make the choice of that value, and then when you live life that choice will kick in. Do you remember that book I was so impacted by? When our Embassy was taken over in Iran many years ago, during Jimmy Carter’s presidency, the highest-ranking military officer in the Embassy at that time wrote a book following their release. And what he said was that they’re trained in the military about terrorism, or being captured, to make their choices before they’re ever tempted. You remember how that impacted me?
(M) He said as he was blindfolded and taken out of the Embassy, thrown into a truck, driven where he knew not where, going to a meet what he knew not, and it did end up being torture, that he made some choices in that truck. He chose not to betray his country, not to betray his fellow prisoner’s etc., He made his choices and he kept them. You see the will is so powerful over us that if we use it to change and choose and adjust, then that will kicks in and automatically you perform it.
(J) But it will be challenged.
(M) It’ll be challenged. But the issue is, if you’ve made the choice,
(J) It will hold…
(M) …it will hold. The will is that powerful in us. And I do believe God supports it. See, we think we’re such victims of God and environment and family, and we’re not. Because if the personality is the whole core of our being that determines our choices, that is formed by our choices rather; if personality is something we develop, then we are victims of nothing. My Mother became ill when I was ten, and died when I was fifteen, fourteen or fifteen. So from ten on I really didn’t have a mother present. So when I became a wife, I really didn’t have a frame of reference for a lot of things. And I would go to the library and just spend hours reading cooking books and sewing books, and then I got into the classics; and that deficit in me created in me the desire to learn. And what I’m telling you John really, is that the choice is to learn. Because to learn is to grow, and to grow is to change, and to change is the adventure of life. But ok, I hope that’s created a picture of the power of choice to create. You create your own personality. You can’t really create your temperament. I am not a scientific mind. I’m an artistic mind. You have more a scientific mind.
(J) I do?
(M) Yes, yes. Electronics. You’re an artist too; you happen to have two talents in there. But you can’t change that. That’s God given. But God gives you this whole range of your being that you create by choice. Isn’t that amazing? I’ve never known that before. And what happened with the murderer of his pregnant wife, was that somewhere I believe, he had no personality because he didn’t grow.
(J) He was stagnant.
(M) He was rigid and stagnant. And they say that the person who is rigid and doesn’t change, and tries to make the environment conform to them, that that is truly sickness. See John, we have the opportunity to, in a sense, create ourselves by our choices. I’m not the person I was at eighteen. I’m not the person I was at twelve. But I have been with people through my years with the Lord, that I believe, there’s one he said to me, this person said he’d stopped growing at the age of eight.
(J) How tragic.
(M) And the same pattern of behavior goes on endlessly in that person. And there are no relationships in their life that have any meaning because that person did not change to evolve and choose what he wanted created in himself. He is vacant, in other words. There’s a complete blindness in him, a great vacuum and hole that is devoid of a personality. And I understand now all these pieces the Lord’s been trying to give me for years, that if you ever, ever, stop growing, you stop at the age you cease to allow yourself to change, and you demand that the world change for you and make you comfortable. So if there’s no personality through the irresponsibilities. It’s a responsibility to choose what you’re going to be in life. It’s a responsibility to respond to what God challenges you with. It takes awhile to catch on to the choice. I had a wonderful conversation with someone this morning where he shared the challenges of God and his choices of how to respond, and how much change has taken place, and how he viewed his own life and work. It was just fabulous. But those developments of the will are very private, nobody can share that; nobody can get in there with you. But back to the scripture that you’re on, the leaning of the entire personality; it means God wants us to have this full-orbed personality. And you know in our group the Lord leads us to movies. He leads us to classics and books. He leads me somewhat into the study of the human soul, and into physics. He leads us in all kinds of different directions. And I feel He really does direct it. We stumble on it, but really He’s behind it all. But it’s always to make us grow, and comprehend Him, and make choices of being responsive. Responsibility is I think coming from being responsive to Him. And He wants us to be on this great adventure of creating your own personality.
(J) Well I think that everybody would say the exact same thing, but it’s an adventure. It’s a continual lesson being learned, and its fun, you know, it’s exciting to be evolving and growing like that because you’re being challenged, and your thoughts are being challenged and expanded. And you know who wants to just die.
(M) Oh but John, many people do. Many people don’t want to live the adventure. It’s either frightening or they’re unwilling. I don’t really know why. I’m sure it’s different reasons for different people. But the only adventure is the adventure of character. Your life work is not the adventure. Your family is really not the adventure, because that family can change overnight…
(M) … and you still have to live with you. You have to still be, if you lose everything, you still have to be. You aren’t identified with what you own or who you’re with, or whose family you’re in. Not before God. You’re identified with God according to the character you’ve chosen. Why are you frowning?
(J) I just don’t understand why would you not want to be challenged? Why wouldn’t you want to be learning and evolving, I don’t understand that.
(M) I don’t think I do either, but I do know there are people who choose not to be. They shut down. It’s like what I call the elevator; you can get off the elevator at any time and just stay where it’s safe. But you have a spirit of adventure. You wouldn’t understand.
(J) But it’s not safe.
(M) Good point.
(J) Its not safe at all. If you’ve hopped off, and you’re not growing and evolving, you’re being told by the media, by whoever, what to think and how to be. And what is that? That’s not even me. If someone else is telling me what to think, what to choose, what to be, there’s nothing that’s mine and bombarding my choices to make me think further, outside of my comfort zone, then who am I. I’m nothing. I’m a robot.
(M) Right. And that’s what we have a world full of John; people who aren’t doing the work to make choices. I was working with someone, and I said to them, you are going to have to build character from the bottom up. Because that lack of character, that lack of personality, lack of volition operative and moving, it will cause you to lose everything in your life.
(J) I would be faceless. I mean I would just literally be faceless, one of the masses. Just a faceless, no character, no definition, no nothing, I would just be a blank face, no eyes no nose no, mouth, just a blank face.
(M) Yeah, you would be nothing, exactly, that’s the point. You would be nothing.