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The Heart Test in Waiting for God
Episode #684
01/12/2020
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
This the continuation of a series of podcasts started in Episode #682
Waiting on God covers more spiritual ground than we know. And within the layers of communion and spiritual growth and Christian discipline is a heart test.
Martha:
I’m thinking of the, the test I had about hearing God when I was first really young Believer. And I would, I was called to speak and so I would say, “God said this to me and God said that to me.” I thought that was normal Christianity, because I read He spoke and I expected Him to. And someone came to me from Dr. Stanley’s church, and this story has been told before, and she said, “Martha, you make people so uncomfortable saying that. There’re people… Dr., Dr. Stanley would never say that, that he’d heard God’s voice.”
And I went, I went to the Lord and I said, “Oh, I’m so sorry that I did that and, and I told it publicly. I’m so sorry.” And I heard Him say, “It’s taken Me a long time to get you to hear My voice.” And He sent me to the scriptures and I saw God spoke to the serpent, He spoke to the fallen man, He spoke to the murderer, He spoke to everybody. So He’ll speak to me, too. Okay! Later Dr. Stanley wrote a book about hearing God!
John:
Which is amazing!
I had a roommate that used to… I used to say, “Well, God said…” You know, “God said.” And he, he would get so mad at me for saying that. And I, I was like, “What is wrong?” He says, “How can you say God said to you?” I’m like, “Because He did. What do you want me to lie, that He didn’t? I, I’m not getting this stuff. This isn’t coming from me. I heard this. This is why I have this.” And so he, he would get real frustrated with me about saying that and I, you know, I pray that now he, he hears God. I guess the reason why he was mad is because he wasn’t hearing God.
Martha:
I think… Um hmm.
John:
If we submit our self and we surrender our self to hear, He will speak.
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
If you seek, if you, you, you ask, you will find.
Martha:
Um hmm. And I tell people a lot, if you want God’s will, He has to reveal it to you. If you want to hear God, He has to, He has to speak. If you, if you really want to hear Him and you don’t care what it is that you hear, even if it’s a correction, then you will hear. Through that episode I learned not to expect Him to speak a certain way but to expect Him to speak. I, I went knowing I was meeting a conversational God and that He’s involved in a conversation with us.
John:
Did you ever struggle with the, the rejection feeling or, or Him not speaking and then you felt bad? Or is that something…
Martha:
Yeah, there have been times when He, He didn’t answer quickly that I would, I would feel, “Are You there?”
John:
Um hmm.
Martha:
“Are You hearing?” And that’s in the Psalm.
John:
Right.
Martha:
David said that many times. “Are You… You’ve got to listen to me now!” (Laughs)
John:
Right! (Laughs) “Please!”
Martha:
That’s not a direct quote. But it, it was certainly the intent that he had many times in writing. His Psalms were simply writing to God.
John:
Right.
Martha:
And having a conversation with God.
John:
Right. And God did speak. God did answer.
Martha:
Oh, He did every time. And most of his Psalms at the end will say, “And this is what You did.”
John:
Right, exactly. But you know something? Looking at it from paper, you know, it looks, you know, pretty immediate.
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
We don’t know how…
Martha:
We don’t know.
John:
…long it took.
Martha:
Absolutely.
John:
It could have been years. It could have been weeks, days. You know, whatever!
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
I think you just go to Him with your heart and you know that He values it and He, He wants to speak.
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
And when He does speak, then it’s beautiful. But the investment, oh, my goodness, it’s, it’s huge for me to know that that’s what it is. It’s an investment for dividends, spiritual dividends that will be paid, you know?
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
You know, the faith of, of speaking in tongues. There’s another thing. You think, “Oh, my gosh, I just, you know, did for an hour. I prayed and, and what happened?” You know? There was another investment. I’m investing that. You may not have an immediate interpretation of what was spoken or, you know, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll even pray when I’m writing; I’ll pray in the Spirit and I’ll, I’ll ask God, you know, for a word and He’ll give it to me, which is cool. But I, you, know, it may take 20 minutes that I’m just sitting there waiting for that word, praying in the Spirit.
Martha:
And especially in the Old Testament, it says God tests you to find what is in your heart. And my, part of that test is waiting, waiting to hear Him. “Will you wait until I speak? Will you wait a long time for Me to give you direction?” Yes! But He has the right to test our heart. But it’s not to, to, He, for Him to find out what’s in our heart.
John:
It’s that we get…
Martha:
It’s, WE need that! (Laughs.)
John:
…it revealed to us. Yeah, that’s right.
Martha:
He already knows what is in our heart.
John:
Right.
Martha:
So sometimes the waiting is a test of that.
Let’s pray that God would use our experience and our testimony of Christ and His faithfulness and the validity of waiting. Let’s ask the Lord to, to inspire many to be willing to wait.
John:
I can agree with that totally.
Martha:
I would love for the Lord to have that. So we do pray that.
Father, will you send this word out to wherever You want to send it and let it bring back fruit to You in the form of listeners who will wait for You. And it’s for Jesus name. Amen.
John:
It’s lovers who will listen. I love it!
Martha:
I do, too!
John:
That’s what it is, you know? If I’m investing in a relationship with someone, sometimes I’m just going and being with them.
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
There’s not anything being done.
Martha:
Um hmm.
John:
I’m just being with them. I’m investing that time with them. And that’s huge and, and valuable. So I’m doing it with, in love. I’m not spiritually investing for a spiritual dividend without love.
Martha:
Well, John you’ve, you’re given the source of it. What makes you have the patience and endurance?
John:
Love.
Martha:
It’s love.
John:
Absolutely.
Martha:
You’re going in your love relationship to meet.
John:
Absolutely.
Martha:
And it doesn’t matter what it costs you.
John:
Uh uh.
Martha:
Oh, thank you. That’s it! That’s the meaning of the whole thing.
John:
How perfect.
Martha:
You’re going to meet your Beloved.
John:
That’s right. If it’s not a love source then…
Martha:
It won’t happen really.
John:
Well, you’re just listening for information? Yuck! Go, you know, get a dictionary or… Whatever.
Martha:
Oh, John, you’ve just given me incentive, the reason. You’ve given the whole thing. It’s, it’s about love. And you’ve just made me cry! (Laughing and crying at the same time.)
The Heart Test in Waiting for God – Episode #684 – Shulamite Podcast
Waiting on God covers more spiritual ground than we know. And within the layers of relationship and spiritual growth and Christian discipline is a heart test. God has the right to test your heart, and He does so in unexpected ways and for surprising reasons.
