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Life Triggers can Produce Fear
Episode #809
6/05/2022
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
With special guest: Joan Wentzel
This is a continuation of a series of podcasts started in Episode #802
He wants everything redeemed; His healing gifts for us includes our triggers.
Joan:
When John was talking about that episode with Mary Magdalene who I just deeply love I see that in my own life triggers make me feel unsafe and for Mary, she felt unsafe. And what was just amazing to me was the Lord’s answer was, “Give me your heart, give me and the Father your heart.” That was His answer to Mary’s whole trigger and crisis of her person and everything was simply, “Give me your heart.”
John:
Because triggers really, really hurt and they make us angry. I don’t know who goes through triggers and doesn’t have anger even if it is tears of anger. Triggers make you angry.
Joan:
Underneath you feel unsafe.
Martha:
And fear is the result of that.
Joan:
Yes.
When I feel unsafe, I am afraid.
John:
And angry. Absolutely.
Martha:
Have you seen a lot of healing take place with the men you are walking with.
John:
Oh yeah, I’ve seen a lot of healing with the guys. I’ve had situations that I have just have cried because of what I’ve seen Him doing.
Martha:
What God is doing?
John:
What God is doing. I’ve just cried because it was such His kindness; things I can’t talk about. But it’s just the kindness and the intentionality of our Lord to bring us into wholeness and healing. It’s pretty outstanding. And though this whole scenario has triggered me, it’s His kindness toward me even though it feels like a goad. Don’t kick against the goads. I’m like, “”Then deal with it, do something.”
Martha:
To come to know yourself is your adventure.
John:
And your story.
Martha:
And your story.
John:
Because you get to know Him, you get to know who He is in your story by going through your story. That’s our whole point. Isn’t the whole point of our entire life is to know Him and so even in our triggers, even in our trauma He wants to reveal Himself.
Martha:
He wants everything redeemed; His healing gifts for us. This is interesting to me. My little heart murmur whatever it was, didn’t amount to anything, what was uncovered…I didn’t finish telling about Joan and John. I went to the Lord about it and the Lord said, “Sleep denervation.” Do you know what it really was? It was not being able to sleep because of fear. Fear was my problem everywhere. And it became a problem for my heart. My heart was hurting because I was in such fear in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t think there was anything particular about that. I was used to it. I don’t sleep much. But I found out that it can affect your health if you don’t have enough sleep. It is like being poisoned and being hurt and crippled. Every night I could not sleep without a lot of worry about fears; fears about the government or whatever; all kinds of different fears. And that was my sickness. It wasn’t anything else but being afraid.
Fear and sleeplessness will take you out. I didn’t realize that to not be able to sleep will make your body sick, literally sick. I can’t say that was all that was wrong with me but I know that that is…I’ve read the medical view of it and it is very dangerous to not have sleep.
John:
That’s when you recover and you heal is during sleep. So, your deep sleep moments are when your brain and your body aren’t having to focus on other things and it’s able to bring restoration to your body. If you cut out sleep, you are kind of in a fight or flight mode all the time where you’re just doing the essentials. Well, essentials work when you are being chased by a tiger but over the long haul the tiger will be inside you killing you. That’s just the way it is. You can’t live in fight or flight on a daily basis.
Martha:
And you know what my solution is? Taking communion and asking forgiveness for fear because it meant that I was afraid of man and not afraid of God. He says, “Don’t call conspiracy what they call conspiracy. You listen to Me and not to anything else.” (Isaiah 8:12)
John:
It wasn’t only life situations and government stuff. It was everything. It was a full litany of things to trigger you.
Martha:
Everything made me afraid.
John:
Everything made you afraid. And then you weren’t sleeping and then your body was…
Martha:
Hurting.
John:
…bearing the brunt of not having that time to be able to recover and sleep. I know that. I’ve had that.
Martha:
At the bottom of it it still was my sin. At the bottom of my fear was unbelief. God would have proven Himself to me a million times.
John:
Okay but, yes, fine. You can take responsibility for it but it also would have to be His kindness and His love to bring you through it because He wants to prepare you. If the whole thing is about preparing you for His coming, regardless when He comes, whether it’s the second coming or just your going.
Martha:
I understand.
John:
Regardless of what it is He’s preparing us for that on a regular basis and it’s His kindness to give us things that says, “Don’t forget this part.” And you went, “I don’t like that part. I’ve avoided that part all my life.” “I know, but we’re going to have to face that part because that’s what I’ve written on your life.”
And your story was written. Your daddy and what happened to you and all the situations in your life happened sovereignly. And it made you who you are. And I hate them. I can look at them and I can want to go shake the heck out of people. But that’s what God did for you to bring to where you are to bring you to Him. And if the end results is Him, it doesn’t really matter. Yes, sure there’s pain; yes, sure there’s struggle. But if ultimately you have Him…
You know of horrible situations that have happened in people’s lives. I know of horrible situations that have happened; abuse situations. It’s a hard one to swallow.
Martha:
It’s your book on sovereignty. You get to the bad stuff…
John:
I do.
Martha:
…and show the sovereignty of God. I have known that sovereignty. And once you can get the sovereignty and know where it’s acceptable in Him, in His view of it then you are rich.
John:
Right.
Martha:
You end up being fearless when you’ve been serving fear. Then suddenly you can jump off a cliff and live life with an open heart, venerable, willing, accessible, and above all living in empathy. Humanity is a mess.
John:
Yes, it is.
Martha:
My self is a mess. Humanity is just dreadfully sick.
John:
And tragically, desperately needy.
Martha:
Yes, of Jesus. And He redeems all the pain. He solves and nurtures and heals all the pain. He even lets me…It’s just amazing what He orchestrates and what He gives you for your healing. He has done some things that I would have never experienced in life.
John:
There’s not one person here or listening to this who doesn’t have to deal with some kind of trigger.
Martha:
Right. That’s what life is.
John:
It is.
Martha:
It’s experiences, it’s failure and success, it’s everything. But it’s an adventure. I’ve read so many times that we are creatures built for adventure and the adventure is getting to know Jesus and getting to become His. And He is your complete provision and complete support and He’s your counselor, mighty counselor. It’s all about getting to know Him as the solution to all of your triggers.
John:
He’s the ultimate trigger solution.
Martha:
He’s the only one.
John:
He’s the one that says, “Listen I have this dealt with.” But you have to face it. And triggers usually are things that we avoid. The reason we are being triggered is to be held at gunpoint to face it.
Martha:
So much of it is not wanting to have this life. “Do I have to live this life? Do I have to be me?” Yes, that’s the adventure; getting to know why you are put here on this earth.
When I spoke to the women in Fayetteville, they so responded with joy when I said, “You’ve been put here for a special reason. You’re in the last days. You are important, you are vital.
And we are. If we will let Christ form and reform us and give us a new creature. You have a new life, a new existence, a new nature, a whole new outlook through Jesus. If He is your everything, you are set for eternity.
And those women grabbed that information and love it. And they hugged me. I gave them hope for this devastated world. The hope is Christ.
But still my response to my life has so often been sin; sin of rejecting myself, the sin of not loving myself. One of the ways you overcome life is to love yourself. The Lord had me on that from the very beginning of my walk with Him because He knew I didn’t like being human. He said, “You want to be an angel flitting around. Sorry you are a human being. Get over it. That’s who I wanted to bare My Son and be the vessel of My Son.”
You are in the middle of an enormous story that God’s already got written and you want to fit into that story with your big yes, ok. This is it. Ok, I’m up for it.
Life Triggers can Produce Fear – Episode #809 – Shulamite Podcast
The whole point of our entire life is to know Him and so even in our triggers, even in our trauma He wants to reveal Himself.
