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Establishing Silence and Quiet
Episode #758
6/13/2021
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Silence brings you into the reality that you are alone. We really don’t like that. Yet life is lived alone.
Martha:
I remember reading early on of a missionary after forty years in the mission field he said, “I was ill for the exact number of Sunday’s that I did not rest.” And that impacted me enough to have a day. And because of church things it’s not Sunday. And I’m not interested in the law of the Sabbath. That’s not it. But it just is life. Life is quiet.
I would love to know how quietly Jesus lived. Well, of course, He would go up into the mountains over the Galilee all the time and spend the whole night in prayer. We tend to think He was talking to God all that time. I doubt it. I would think He would be just being still and getting away from the crowds. There’s both an advantage to being with someone and a disadvantage. I can drain somebody and somebody can drain me. And then we’ve lost ourself.
John:
What I’ve learned in the whole deal is that once you’ve established that in your being, in your life then you don’t have to prime the pump. I can get it like that. I can just (whooshing sound). Before I would exhaust myself with waiting. I’m like, “This is exhausting.” But now I can stop and it’s there immediately. The pump is primed and the stillness…
Martha:
That’s so important. I’ve never heard it put that way.
John:
Does that make sense?
Martha:
It’s awesome. Yes!
John:
So, Ladonna said, “Do I think it’s because it’s faith in His presence?” And I think it is that in part because I’ve…
Martha:
You’ve made it a habit.
John:
I made it a habit and then I trust that He’s…
Martha:
And you would have faith if you were experiencing it.
John:
Well, I can tell you that the years and years and years I tried to do the whole early rising thing. Now I can’t but do it because my body like, “Let’s go.”
But I would go to early rising because I believed that it was what I was supposed to do. I would go there and I would wait and I would wait and it was exhausting. It was awful. I hated it! I would usually leave mad because I was like, “Ok, I have just waited for an hour for You and nothing happened!” See, I wasn’t looking for Him. I was looking for something to happen.
So, I had no faith in the quiet, the stillness. So, then He had to say, “Ok, you really want that? So, let me give you two years of nothing. How do you like that?” I was like, “Well, I hate this!” He said, ‘Yeah, you really do!”
Martha:
He captured you.
John:
But in that I said, “Ok, now I see Your value of this time. I see why You want it not why I want it.”
I wanted it because I wanted to put the coin into the vending machine and “Give me my cookie!” That’s what I wanted. And He didn’t do it like that. He said, “No, I’m not a vending machine. I’m not a slot machine. You’re not going to put the coin in and pull the lever. No! Just because you woke up and you’re waiting for Me and you played a worship song and now you’re sitting, waiting quiet so that I’ll speak. No. I don’t work like that. I do it how I want to do it.” And so, He said, “Ok, well…
Martha:
And that means waiting…
John:
And that means waiting.
Martha:
…for Him to show.
John:
But now that He’s done that and I see the value of it I can connect. I can stop and be like “Ok (swooshing sound). I can be in my place even if He’s not doing anything. Does that make sense? I’m in the right mind-set that if He wants to speak, it He wants to move, then He’s able to. I’m yielded…
Martha:
And it’s not your still there.
John:
Exactly. I’m yielded and bowed. But it doesn’t take an hour to get my brain to shut off.
Remember you used to give an example of taking the things that were coming up in your mind, you’d put them in a little bag and you would…Remember that?
Martha:
Yes, I do. It worked.
John:
Well, I tried the bag forever and I was like going, “Well, I shove it in the bag and it comes out and it brings fifteen people.
Martha:
If something would come to my mind apart from the Lord, I would put it in a little brown bag and put it at the foot of His throne in my mind. That was the access to the solution.
John:
It was like, “My tires are bald I need to get new tires. Ok, I don’t need new tires fright now. I’m putting them in the bag and I’m putting…”
Martha:
So, it’s a lot mental. To get quiet is really getting rid of the action going on.
John:
Yeah, because there are trapeze artist bouncing all off my head. And it’s all me.
Martha:
Yeah! Well, that’s wonderful.
John:
Silence brings you into the reality that you are alone. We really don’t like that. Life is lived alone.
John:
That’s exactly it and I hated it because I was an only child and that was like a death sentence. I was like going, “Where’s my brother or sister?” “They are not coming.” “Oh, so I’m alone.” And the silence it’s like a megaphone blast. See that’s what it was. At first the silence was loud. And now the silence isn’t loud.
What were you going to say?
Ladonna:
Mountains brought down, valleys lifted up-that smoothing out and I think about thought patterns that are developed truly ruts in your physiology in your brain that you continually think about these things. And that is part of that evening out so you can be quiet.
John:
That’s an amazing scripture for it, isn’t it? Because that’s exactly what it is.
Ladonna:
How it visualize what the Lord is doing in my thought processes is those low places are brought up, the high places are brought down, the crooked places are made straight so I can be quiet and be still.
John:
That’s it. That’s exactly what it is.
Martha:
He’s doing it for you.
John:
Wow!
Ladonna:
It is done. It’s not something He assigns us to do…He says, “I will do this!”
Martha:
That’s crucial.
Dave:
In affirming what you’re saying, John, as far as your ministry in the lives of church people, I don’t know other than that because that’s where I am, but that call to silence is your strength.
I make fun of the times that you told me “Go to your God” and I would be livid, I’d be frustrated. At times I thought, “It’d be nice to have two years like John. Get it all out.” I had twenty years of it but every time it was hysterical, it was…. There were times when I was left alone that I was just… “I can’t do this.”
So, my mind was just ramped, just could not stand silence. I had to do something, had to be something. And so, you would continually… Over that period of time I would call and want an answer. “How do I get out of this? What do I do?” And you’d say… You would give a verse and say I’ll get back to you….and you wouldn’t. But it forced me to the place over twenty plus years of being ok with silence. Even within our marriage of “No, that’s not the solution either. Are you willing to accept being alone the rest of your life just you and Me?”
And it took a lot to come to the place to say, “Yes, if that’s what You want, I will accept that.” And it took many years of fighting, kicking and talking about your experience sitting there for an hour. I’d play guitar so I’d be doing worship songs and “Ok, God I’m in the mood. Where are You?!”
Martha:
Laughing.
John:
Laughing.
Dave:
And not getting anything.
Martha:
That’s perfect.
Dave:
You know I knew enough through Bible Study and meditation all those things and it just didn’t work.
You constantly would say, “Go to your God.” I had no idea how that worked. And it came to the place, John, what you’re saying I see it a little differently, walking in the Light. I don’t know… It is faith, based on faith but it’s the belief that God’s sovereign and He’s using and Joan’s been helping that of the basis of life the simple things-doing your job, doing your chores, doing your work and He comes when He wants.
And there were times where a thought would come or I’d hit the floor in the middle of something I was doing. It was like “What’s going on?” And come to the point to go, “Ok, it’s His appointed time. I need to listen. This is His time.” And so that’s where it gets exciting to where ok I’m no longer under compunction as a religious person I’ve got to have that two hours in the morning quiet time and He’ll come. Just all day and allow Him at His term to come as He would will as Sovereign.
John:
That’s great. That really is. Compunction is a great word for it.
Martha:
Um hmm.
And legalism.
John:
Yeah.
Martha:
It becomes, we make it legal to ourselves. And it’s more natural than that.
John:
And the cool thing is is that once you hit that place of stillness then it doesn’t matter if there is noise. You can still be in the stillness. Does that make sense?
Martha:
Yeah.
One woman said to me, “Martha, I know when you check out and leave the room.”
Joan:
She has immediately left the building.
Martha:
And I’m not aware of that at all.
John:
Her and Elvis are out. (Laughs)
Martha:
What a life.
John:
But then you can weather the storm of chaos. Then you can weather the storm because you’ve entered into a relational silence.
Martha:
And you know that verse, is it Hebrews 12, where it says, “Get rid of every encumbrance and the sin that so easily attacks us.”
John:
Um hmm.
Martha:
And what does it say? “Gaze at Christ who’s the Author and Finisher of our faith.” That’s kind of my scripture that you go and you look at Him, you look toward Him whatever that is for you-looking up at the sky. But you go looking for Him and waiting for Him.
John:
You gave me that as a treasure. You would tell me to do that and I didn’t know how to do that. You didn’t give me the one, two, three, A, B, C, steps of how to do that. You just said, “Go do it!” And then I went to do it and I had to meet Him in that and find it because really you’re in dark in silence. Until the chaos and the noise is down it’s dark and then once it’s established in your life then it’s light. Then you go and it’s light.
Martha:
Into the light.
John:
It’s not dark anymore.
Joan:
Once the aloneness is accepted, I think the darkness goes because the real darkness is the anger at being alone.
John:
That’s perfect! Yeah, that’s perfect.
Martha:
See if there is a method and that was my little brown bag, get rid of every encumbrance, everything that you’re carrying that’s not about Jesus.
John:
Right.
Martha:
And then gaze at Him and He will give you the faith and it just comes naturally if you follow that. You have to get rid of your burdens first.
Dave:
That’s the new covenant. I mean the old covenant they said, “Moses, we know that you’ve seen God. You put the veil on so that we can talk with Him. You share what God said. We can’t face it.” The new covenant was that God was in us, the veil was torn and we have that relationship and there’s no longer that fear. The fear is that I can come and at any point. But it’s that’s all aspect of Christ in you the hope of glory that makes a change.
Martha:
Um hmm.
This is going in a wonderful direction that I didn’t plan.
John:
That was wonderful.
Martha:
Wonderful.
EPISODE #758
6/13/2021
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Martha:
I remember reading early on of a missionary after forty years in the mission field he said, “I was ill for the exact number of Sunday’s that I did not rest.” And that impacted me enough to have a day. And because of church things it’s not Sunday. And I’m not interested in the law of the Sabbath. That’s not it. But it just is life. Life is quiet.
I would love to know how quietly Jesus lived. Well, of course, He would go up into the mountains over the Galilee all the time and spend the whole night in prayer. We tend to think He was talking to God all that time. I doubt it. I would think He would be just being still and getting away from the crowds. There’s both an advantage to being with someone and a disadvantage. I can drain somebody and somebody can drain me. And then we’ve lost ourself.
John:
What I’ve learned in the whole deal is that once you’ve established that in your being, in your life then you don’t have to prime the pump. I can get it like that. I can just (whooshing sound). Before I would exhaust myself with waiting. I’m like, “This is exhausting.” But now I can stop and it’s there immediately. The pump is primed and the stillness…
Martha:
That’s so important. I’ve never heard it put that way.
John:
Does that make sense?
Martha:
It’s awesome. Yes!
John:
So, Ladonna said, “Do I think it’s because it’s faith in His presence?” And I think it is that in part because I’ve…
Martha:
You’ve made it a habit.
John:
I made it a habit and then I trust that He’s…
Martha:
And you would have faith if you were experiencing it.
John:
Well, I can tell you that the years and years and years I tried to do the whole early rising thing. Now I can’t but do it because my body like, “Let’s go.”
But I would go to early rising because I believed that it was what I was supposed to do. I would go there and I would wait and I would wait and it was exhausting. It was awful. I hated it! I would usually leave mad because I was like, “Ok, I have just waited for an hour for You and nothing happened!” See, I wasn’t looking for Him. I was looking for something to happen.
So, I had no faith in the quiet, the stillness. So, then He had to say, “Ok, you really want that? So, let me give you two years of nothing. How do you like that?” I was like, “Well, I hate this!” He said, ‘Yeah, you really do!”
Martha:
He captured you.
John:
But in that I said, “Ok, now I see Your value of this time. I see why You want it not why I want it.”
I wanted it because I wanted to put the coin into the vending machine and “Give me my cookie!” That’s what I wanted. And He didn’t do it like that. He said, “No, I’m not a vending machine. I’m not a slot machine. You’re not going to put the coin in and pull the lever. No! Just because you woke up and you’re waiting for Me and you played a worship song and now you’re sitting, waiting quiet so that I’ll speak. No. I don’t work like that. I do it how I want to do it.” And so, He said, “Ok, well…
Martha:
And that means waiting…
John:
And that means waiting.
Martha:
…for Him to show.
John:
But now that He’s done that and I see the value of it I can connect. I can stop and be like “Ok (swooshing sound). I can be in my place even if He’s not doing anything. Does that make sense? I’m in the right mind-set that if He wants to speak, it He wants to move, then He’s able to. I’m yielded…
Martha:
And it’s not your still there.
John:
Exactly. I’m yielded and bowed. But it doesn’t take an hour to get my brain to shut off.
Remember you used to give an example of taking the things that were coming up in your mind, you’d put them in a little bag and you would…Remember that?
Martha:
Yes, I do. It worked.
John:
Well, I tried the bag forever and I was like going, “Well, I shove it in the bag and it comes out and it brings fifteen people.
Martha:
If something would come to my mind apart from the Lord, I would put it in a little brown bag and put it at the foot of His throne in my mind. That was the access to the solution.
John:
It was like, “My tires are bald I need to get new tires. Ok, I don’t need new tires fright now. I’m putting them in the bag and I’m putting…”
Martha:
So, it’s a lot mental. To get quiet is really getting rid of the action going on.
John:
Yeah, because there are trapeze artist bouncing all off my head. And it’s all me.
Martha:
Yeah! Well, that’s wonderful.
John:
Silence brings you into the reality that you are alone. We really don’t like that. Life is lived alone.
John:
That’s exactly it and I hated it because I was an only child and that was like a death sentence. I was like going, “Where’s my brother or sister?” “They are not coming.” “Oh, so I’m alone.” And the silence it’s like a megaphone blast. See that’s what it was. At first the silence was loud. And now the silence isn’t loud.
What were you going to say?
Ladonna:
Mountains brought down, valleys lifted up-that smoothing out and I think about thought patterns that are developed truly ruts in your physiology in your brain that you continually think about these things. And that is part of that evening out so you can be quiet.
John:
That’s an amazing scripture for it, isn’t it? Because that’s exactly what it is.
Ladonna:
How it visualize what the Lord is doing in my thought processes is those low places are brought up, the high places are brought down, the crooked places are made straight so I can be quiet and be still.
John:
That’s it. That’s exactly what it is.
Martha:
He’s doing it for you.
John:
Wow!
Ladonna:
It is done. It’s not something He assigns us to do…He says, “I will do this!”
Martha:
That’s crucial.
Dave:
In affirming what you’re saying, John, as far as your ministry in the lives of church people, I don’t know other than that because that’s where I am, but that call to silence is your strength.
I make fun of the times that you told me “Go to your God” and I would be livid, I’d be frustrated. At times I thought, “It’d be nice to have two years like John. Get it all out.” I had twenty years of it but every time it was hysterical, it was…. There were times when I was left alone that I was just… “I can’t do this.”
So, my mind was just ramped, just could not stand silence. I had to do something, had to be something. And so, you would continually… Over that period of time I would call and want an answer. “How do I get out of this? What do I do?” And you’d say… You would give a verse and say I’ll get back to you….and you wouldn’t. But it forced me to the place over twenty plus years of being ok with silence. Even within our marriage of “No, that’s not the solution either. Are you willing to accept being alone the rest of your life just you and Me?”
And it took a lot to come to the place to say, “Yes, if that’s what You want, I will accept that.” And it took many years of fighting, kicking and talking about your experience sitting there for an hour. I’d play guitar so I’d be doing worship songs and “Ok, God I’m in the mood. Where are You?!”
Martha:
Laughing.
John:
Laughing.
Dave:
And not getting anything.
Martha:
That’s perfect.
Dave:
You know I knew enough through Bible Study and meditation all those things and it just didn’t work.
You constantly would say, “Go to your God.” I had no idea how that worked. And it came to the place, John, what you’re saying I see it a little differently, walking in the Light. I don’t know… It is faith, based on faith but it’s the belief that God’s sovereign and He’s using and Joan’s been helping that of the basis of life the simple things-doing your job, doing your chores, doing your work and He comes when He wants.
And there were times where a thought would come or I’d hit the floor in the middle of something I was doing. It was like “What’s going on?” And come to the point to go, “Ok, it’s His appointed time. I need to listen. This is His time.” And so that’s where it gets exciting to where ok I’m no longer under compunction as a religious person I’ve got to have that two hours in the morning quiet time and He’ll come. Just all day and allow Him at His term to come as He would will as Sovereign.
John:
That’s great. That really is. Compunction is a great word for it.
Martha:
Um hmm.
And legalism.
John:
Yeah.
Martha:
It becomes, we make it legal to ourselves. And it’s more natural than that.
John:
And the cool thing is is that once you hit that place of stillness then it doesn’t matter if there is noise. You can still be in the stillness. Does that make sense?
Martha:
Yeah.
One woman said to me, “Martha, I know when you check out and leave the room.”
Joan:
She has immediately left the building.
Martha:
And I’m not aware of that at all.
John:
Her and Elvis are out. (Laughs)
Martha:
What a life.
John:
But then you can weather the storm of chaos. Then you can weather the storm because you’ve entered into a relational silence.
Martha:
And you know that verse, is it Hebrews 12, where it says, “Get rid of every encumbrance and the sin that so easily attacks us.”
John:
Um hmm.
Martha:
And what does it say? “Gaze at Christ who’s the Author and Finisher of our faith.” That’s kind of my scripture that you go and you look at Him, you look toward Him whatever that is for you-looking up at the sky. But you go looking for Him and waiting for Him.
John:
You gave me that as a treasure. You would tell me to do that and I didn’t know how to do that. You didn’t give me the one, two, three, A, B, C, steps of how to do that. You just said, “Go do it!” And then I went to do it and I had to meet Him in that and find it because really you’re in dark in silence. Until the chaos and the noise is down it’s dark and then once it’s established in your life then it’s light. Then you go and it’s light.
Martha:
Into the light.
John:
It’s not dark anymore.
Joan:
Once the aloneness is accepted, I think the darkness goes because the real darkness is the anger at being alone.
John:
That’s perfect! Yeah, that’s perfect.
Martha:
See if there is a method and that was my little brown bag, get rid of every encumbrance, everything that you’re carrying that’s not about Jesus.
John:
Right.
Martha:
And then gaze at Him and He will give you the faith and it just comes naturally if you follow that. You have to get rid of your burdens first.
Dave:
That’s the new covenant. I mean the old covenant they said, “Moses, we know that you’ve seen God. You put the veil on so that we can talk with Him. You share what God said. We can’t face it.” The new covenant was that God was in us, the veil was torn and we have that relationship and there’s no longer that fear. The fear is that I can come and at any point. But it’s that’s all aspect of Christ in you the hope of glory that makes a change.
Martha:
Um hmm.
This is going in a wonderful direction that I didn’t plan.
John:
That was wonderful.
Martha:
Wonderful.
Establishing Silence and Quiet – Episode #758 – Shulamite Podcast
Silence can be like a megaphone blast. For me, silence was loud, now it isn’t. It’s quiet and peaceful not overwhelming and oppressive.
Yes. I agree, Helen. Thank you for sharing.
Podcasts such as this, conversations such as this “make the path straight” for others. For without a vision, without hope, we perish.
Jesus, had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a Shepherd. I do not believe that God is angrily withholding Himself from us, testing us until we figure it out. I believe that He longs to draw us with a voice of love, patience, compassion, and gentleness. This is not often the voice we hear in our head nor have experienced in relationships with others so it is very difficult to perceive that His voice is just this when we are separated from Him in the waiting. I believe that He wants His children to give voice to His heart in a way that shines light in the darkness. Is this not what Jesus did? He came and revealed to us the heart of the Father and those with Him perceived His presence when they could not recognize Him with their natural eyes.
My hope is that this is what we the “church” will become. Living temples of God, with Jesus as the Head, the Holy Spirit living in us that the world may know Him.
This I believe it what it means to “enter into His rest” Heb. 4
Thank you all for sharing this message. Tina
Guess these posted backward, last to first…
This podcast sparked a fire…
Ladonna what you referred to regarding our brain and how God made us and how all of this is connected is so true and if I hadn’t already written a book here I would love to share more on that. Learning how God has made us and the connections that are so perfect, body, soul, and spirit are amazing. We are all of these and discovering the depth and beauty of wholeness that He created us to be, connected with ourselves, with Him, and with others that all that we are is ok. is a deep passion of mine.
Be still and know that I am God.
There is SO much in this…learning to be silent and still is just the beginning of truly knowing and entering into His rest, all that comes before that is war, the war between lies vs. Truth, fear vs. Love, flesh vs. spirit, knowledge of good and evil vs. knowledge of the tree of life, of seeking to know vs. being known.
Martha mentioned how we can lose ourselves when with others…for me the first struggle was to come to see and admit who I really am, not who I am trying so desperately to be. To accept that I do not have to attain to ______________ to be loved. The searching and waiting for God and meeting with silence when coupled with belief that the silence means rejection creates a cycle of fear that is very difficult to overcome. In my world I was not allowed to feel, it was not only not acceptable I believed that it was wrong. But as you said John, coming to God looking to “feel” something or have something happen, to me was connected with a need to know His love.
And Dave that is so true what you are saying. I am discovering that the connections with the Spirit are happening as I am able to rest, being still in my spirit, listening, looking, as I go about my day…learning to recognize His voice and when He is speaking and being ok when He isn’t.
Con’t
Now so many doors of understanding are happening (I’m a little excited, hence the book and to share with those who “get it”) The scripture God gave me Is. 40 the moment I gave my heart to Him at age 17 is just beginning to be realized.
Comfort, yes, comfort My people!”
Says your God.
“Speak comfort to Jerusalem, and cry out to her,
That her warfare is ended,
That her iniquity is pardoned;
For she has received from the Lord’s hand
Double for all her sins.”
The voice of one crying in the wilderness:
“Prepare the way of the Lord;
Make straight in the desert
A highway for our God.
Every valley shall be exalted
And every mountain and hill brought low;
The crooked places shall be made straight
And the rough places smooth;
The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
And all flesh shall see it together;
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”
The Lord has been walking about my heart. He can be very Present, in His Silence. He wasn’t ‘saying’ anything…that I would expect. He wasn’t saying anything I might say…just walking, & looking deep, till I knew He was seeing. It wasn’t my view, it was His view…& that was His point. And that brings silence into me…there’s nothing to answer. It’s just Him, & me. He wanted to come the way HE wanted to come. And so He silenced me; & came in His own silence. Yet, His silence speaks, touches, changes, from deep inside. HE is our start to finish.
“Looking away from all that would distract, to Jesus, Who is the Leader & Source of our faith, giving the first incentive for our belief, & is also its Finisher, bringing it to maturity & perfection..”
What a wonderful podcast! So full of insight brought through each one of you. Such a secret meshing God put together. Living, so, touching…us all, right where we are. A huge thank you & love to every one of you for the encouragement!