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The Booklet Is Finished
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Special guest: Julie
(M) Well this has been quite a day. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago the booklet, “The Secret of Answered Prayer”, and how long it’s been in the waiting to be published. And today it’s finished and edited and ready to go to the printer. And it happened virtually in two days. But the amazing thing about it is so much of what I write is the Lord having to show me what He has taught me, because I’ve learned it so alone with Him, that I don’t know how I function, I don’t know how what I do, and I don’t know how to teach it, and I don’t know how to speak it. And I’ve known for months that I couldn’t, that I didn’t have the words, and in part I didn’t have the insight of what it was that I had, and had to say. And He kept developing it. But only the Lord knows how many hours and days and months of just waiting and praying and asking for the words, and meditating. And I would do so much of it in my garden. Just, I would be gardening and all the time this meditation and seeking and listening would go on. And I realize now… And you said, “Well, it was a booklet about prayer, I guess you had to pray it to get the prayer out.” But you’ve read it, and Julie’s read it, and Jennifer has read most of it. And it’s, it’s very exciting. I wish I had recorded this morning, because I was just beside myself. (Speaking to Julie.) Yeah, just scoot up.
(Julie) Can I just say what I really think?
(J) Yeah, yeah.
(Julie) I ah, editing it this afternoon was a completely different experience than its ever been before. I literally would get about two pages along and have to stop and just weep and worship. And I think it is one of the most beautiful things that you’ve ever written. And I say that, just rejoicing, not just because you’ve written it, but it is one of the clearest expressions of the vibrancy of Christ in you, and the way He lives your life, and the way He prays in you, and that we watch Him live prayer. And it is… I’ve never read anything like it. I’ve never heard… I, I, these are… I’m just so excited in a very concise amount of space you’ve given amazing clarity to a radically different, entire understanding of what prayer is. And ah, I just, it’s like I cannot praise Him enough for giving that kind of direction, and bringing that kind of direction into the earth. And it’s like this booklet is the distillation of that beautiful essence of Christ Who lives in you in constant prayer.
(M) Hmmm. Oh my goodness. Oh my, Julie. That takes it way beyond what I can imagine. There was a phrase you picked out to read, can you find it again?
(Julie) Well I’ll be… this is kind of…. well maybe this will just be a teaser and make people want to read the whole thing because I’m taking it right smack out of the middle of the booklet. This is one of the places I had to stop and cry. Uhmm. This is what you write. “More than my answer, more than their solution, I want to be in communion with YOU! Lord, I want You to have YOUR heart’s desire!” And then you said, “When you long for Him to have His desires, more than you want your own desires, then your want melds with His purpose, and He opens His vast ideas to you and invites you to join His manifestation of them.”
(Julie) That’s something I see that you do understand about prayer; like you were saying, you don’t know what you have, but prayer is this adventurous life, and you will be in your garden and all of a sudden He does open these vast, shocking, amazing, heavenly, huge, perspective ideas to you, and it just changes everything, and it makes Him so exciting and so appealing in your life, so that prayer is truly the most wondrous and adventurous thing that could be. And that for a lot of us, I think is the absolutely opposite of the drudgery that we’ve thought of prayer being.
(Julie) For you it is a constant experiencing of Him.
(J) It’s not like the long checklist of things that you have t cajole and manipulate and force the hand of God to do. I mean, how much prayer is gone into that we expect Him to say no, or we expect Him to disappoint us? And in the way you see it and speak it and live it, it is not about giving Him the checklist and having to force His hand, it’s about walking with Him. And ah, that’s, that’s amazing, that’s a total different perspective. You and I went out to eat, and you started saying things to me that I, it was amazing because it was like the Spirit was, had the tickertape going across my mind. And as you were saying it, I was seeing it just as you were saying it, and I was like, oh my-gosh, this is so huge. And I said, “This is in the booklet, right? Because otherwise I’m going to have to get a pen and start writing this down because this is awesome.” And you said, “It is.” And so I’m just real excited about this. It has been a painstaking process, but has been one that couldn’t be forced. There’s been a pressure, time-wise with the printer, with people that have bought a pre-order of the booklet and of the booklet series. And you know, you’ve had months and months and months of nothing. And there’s been a pressure, I felt the pressure, but I knew that I couldn’t force it, I couldn’t push it, I had to just shut-up and wait. And I think in that, I’ve been trained how to pray.
(M) Hmmm, wow.
(J) I’ve had to birth my own part of this booklet; my own small part of birthing had to be the fact that we don’t go to God, ah, demanding and ah, coercing, and there’s a big waiting even though the desire was there, even though the desire was spoken, I knew where the answer was coming from; and I knew that there was absolutely no reason to rile you up and push you to do anything, because I knew it wasn’t going to just come out. And I wouldn’t have wanted, and I told you this at that dinner, I said, “I am so glad we waited for this, because this revelation is absolutely amazing.”
(M) You said, “Oh, it’s worth it, all the wait, and all the time.”
(J) All the wait is worth what you got by going through this process, and, and I realized, ok, you are so much higher than me, I wanted just to fulfill the orders that have been… and make sure that they were taken care of, and everything like that, and the time-line that we had set. And God was like, ‘I’m a little bigger than that’. I’m a little bigger than your time-lines. And so I said ok, let’s see where He’s going to go with this, and I just waited and waited and waited.
(M) Well, I know, I knew it was painful for you, and we never discussed it until that dinner about ten days ago, where I sat down with you and I said I want to tell you why this has taken so long, and what I’m getting. And the booklet changed directions three times, and I would come up against something I knew, that I couldn’t in integrity, I could not release that booklet because I didn’t have it. I didn’t have the words, and I didn’t have the way to put it together. And so you and I just didn’t mention it for months, because there was no point. And I knew it was painful for you, and I knew that you were exercising enormous grace and patience with me, and I knew that I could not, I could not make it happen. There wasn’t any ‘plan B’, usually, there hasn’t been for years a plan B. There’s only ‘A’. Christ does it, or it’s not going to be. And as He began to unfold it so slowly, I was suffering enough believing that I should be ‘at it’, and what was wrong with me that I couldn’t write the booklet. But now as I look back on it, I realize how much…I’m just, I just know that the anointing of the Spirit, the project or work we’ll call it, that God wants to put into the world, requires so much prayer. It took ten years of prayer to produce the first book that I wrote. And there’s several books that are ten years in the waiting. And I’m, maybe not everybody is like that, and doesn’t have to go through that, but I do. But it really has to come from above, it cannot come out of me, even in my efforts to tell it.
(Julie) But the wonder is that that is so in the message of this booklet that really is that just, it’s just an amazing distillation of Him in your life, because you, more than anybody I’ve ever known, you have the courage to persist in your nothingness until He does it. You know? And the temptation I think for all of us, and the temptation like John mentioned, the discipline that we’ve had to learn around you, is not to jump. (Martha laughs.) I mean, you know, because that’s the temptation in so many things. And possibly the reason that we don’t get answered prayers, a lot of times we come up with something that’s really a, you know, I want to say a belch of the flesh.
(Julie) And it’s not the answer that God would want to give. When He speaks through you it is like this, it is so rich and so divine and so powerful, in whatever it’ll be, thirty pages, that it, it was worth the wait. It’s like a fine, fine, fine wine, that you’ve waited on that long, and… But the temptation always, even in prayer I think, to jump. I know in, I know in, I’ll say it nicely, in my former world, uhmm, I know that the temptation was to jump, do something in the flesh and call it the Spirit when it wasn’t, because you got tired of waiting, or you let your unbelief get a-hold of you and you made up what you decided God would probably answer. (Martha laughs.) And you’d call it God, but it wasn’t, and ultimately the fruit will bare out that it wasn’t, you know, long term.
(J) Every booklet to this point has had to have a birthing. The great lie was the first one, and the process that we went through as a Body, was ahmm, was, I mean you can’t say anything but a birthing. It was a birthing. And each booklet there’s been a major work of the Spirit to re-birth the message with a new fresh anointing. And this is, you know, followed suit with all the others. It’s taken a lot longer than the others, but it has followed suit totally. And it’s real exciting because you don’t have dead, dry words, regurgitated, previous messages, you have something that’s, that is ah, fresh and alive, and relevant. And I believe that it has the power, just right behind it, just the power to engage the anointing that it’s speaking of.
(J) That people are looking for the secret to answered prayer. I mean, you know? And I think that you really have a key, because it’s His heartbeat. It’s His answer. It’s what He has shown as the answer. You have literally walked it out through scripture and showed clearly, this is what He has said. This is how, this is it, this is the secret to answered prayer. And uhmm, and it’s proven, it’s not like just something that you’ve just randomly grabbed. And I’m real excited. I’m excited that it’s going to go out, and I’m excited that by the time this airs, it will be at the web-site ready to go. And actually, a number of the people that have already pre-ordered will already have it by the time this comes out. And we’re real excited about that.