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Episode #109 – The Burden Of Rejection

January 18, 2009

with Martha Kilpatrick and John Enslow
with special guest Carole Nelson

(Carole) Well all I know is at some point, ah, well I’ll explain it this way. The day of the election, I really believed that McCain would win. And so at three o’clock in the morning, whenever it was, I turned on the T.V. and Obama had won, I just fell on the floor and started praising God. I didn’t know what else to do and that was the only thing I could do. But then I opened the “Manna”, and the “Manna” was on Daniel. And that, I can’t quote it of course, but it was that Daniel was not involved in the governance of this world, he was involved with one government, and that is the government of God. And it was somehow at that point God took my head and my heart and went ‘cha-chink’, and He adjusted. It was perfect, everything, He made it perfect with that word. And somehow relating to that, somehow and at some point He did the same thing. I guess it would be the transformation of the mind, the renewing of the mind. Ummm, He renewed my mind and He went ‘cha-chink’, and took me from that stronghold of rejection of Him. And it’s like, even with all the sin… And you’re right, I’m a wicked servant, I’m lazy and wicked and rebellious and a liar, but He took, He took me and He somehow delivered me and made me right.
(J and M) umhmm…mmmm.
(Carole) And I have said God, You’ve got, You have done this, You’re the only one that could, but You have also got to keep me because I’ve got to be dept. And ah, even this morning, I know that the only way that I will live without fear is to live dead. And to live in the reality that I am crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life that I now live, I live by faith in the one who loves me and delivers me.
(M) There was one quote in “The Great Lie” Carole.
(Carole) Oh, it was “Eternal Power”.
(M) Oh was it “Eternal Power”? Ok.
(Carole) Thank you Martha. I had forgotten, and it was so powerful. Oh, and that was a turning point, thank you. I think its on page twenty of “The Eternal Power”. And Martha says in that, that you can never truly submit to authority until you have given up the power to protect yourself and to save yourself. And I said…. That just went in like a sword, and I knew it wasn’t just laying down ‘saving myself’; it was the laying down the power to save and protect myself. And for me that has been the stronghold of rejection and fear. That has been a power, illegitimate power that I have used.
(M) So, what’s different for you, from this?
(Carole) My God is different. And I can’t tell you how. It’s something in my spirit I know, that I know that He loves me like I’ve never known it, because… He’s known all of this is in there, and I have fought Him ‘tooth and nail’ every time He uncovers something, but He has known all along, it’s there, it’s just absolute insanity. But, there you go, that’s who I am. I just know that He has… He annulled me from ‘the great lie’, from the beginning of time when He first dreamed me up. And He is bringing me into the absolute reality of that fact and who He is.
(M) You came in and you told me that something huge was lifted from you.
(Carole) Ohhh.
(M) So there’s a big weight gone?
(Carole) Oh, there’s a big weight, but it’s more than a big… It’s a freedom. There is a freedom of just being not afraid. And He’s going to walk me through this; He’s going to walk me through to the absolute reality of it. But He has, through this “Great Lie” He, He exposed it. And through “The Eternal Power” He has led me to renounce and repent, to recognize, renounce, repent deeply of rejecting Him, of, of, of being wicked and a lazy servant. He has led me to that, and He has solved it.
(M) You know Carole, at some point in this recent journey of yours ah; we were really not together as such. At some point He was, He was breaking the stronghold of rejection over a number of people, and we didn’t even know it. So there was a work of the Spirit going on that was ah, very powerful I’ll say. Revelation about rejection, and ah, we don’t know that we’ve just done a podcast on, on that revelation, how that works, and what it is. So it was affecting you in the Spirit.
(Carole) Oh it was, absolutely affecting me. The Holy Spirit was, was doing what He promised to do.
(M) Thank you Carole. One of the things people write to us is they love transparency that we have. And I said on the last podcast, now these messages on internet radio are just bringing people into our Body-life. And our Body-life is very transparent, very accountable. It sounds like that would be scary, but it is the most safe and lovely place, because you can, you’re being helped to your eternal destiny forever and ever and ever. It’s not just ‘get out of your misery today’; you’re being helped ah…
(Carole) Well yes, because our purpose is to know Him; know Him and the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of His sufferings; we’re to be conformed to His death. And I guess as I listen to you, that is it. He is breaking the lies. He is demolishing the lies that I have believed, so that I will know Him…and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings.
(M) The only reason to live, that’s, and that is eternal life to know Him So I just, I bless you and thank you for opening your life to be shared, and I know it will bless many people. These, this issue of rejection, and ultimately the rejection of God, I believe it is in so many, so many imprisoned lives.
(J) Imprisoned is, is the word, imprisoned.
(Carole) One of the scriptures that, as the Lord was bringing me through this, that just, oh, it just made me weep. That first of all, that He would take me to it. And it’s Jude 24 and 25, “Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory, with exceeding joy, to God our Savior who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever more; Amen.” When I read “the exceeding joy” after this, I just wept, because I don’t know that I have ever really gone to Him believing that He could have exceeding joy over anything that I was or am or do, because I had so rejected Him. And when I finally came to repentance and He lifted whatever He lifted from that, I saw the joy, and I was full of joy over it.
(M) Well we have our prayer meetings begin at five am. And that morning Carole burst in the door, and the first thing she said, with this tremendous beaming face, “I’m so glad to be here!” (Martha and John laugh) And I knew something had really, had really happened that was wonderful, and she came in really a different person, glorious in her, in her identity as she is in Christ. It was wonderful. At five o’clock in the morning, when you got out in the cold, and you’d driven to another house, to be glad to be here, that in itself is big, but it was evidence.
(Carole) I really wanted to emphasize that it is Body-life that uhmm, the Lord has used, absolutely and truly for me because when you have… If you isolate yourself, you have no one; you don’t even know who you’re talking to when you talk to the Lord if you don’t have someone that you are, you have made yourself accountable to. Someone to whom you have submitted to and uhmm, it’s a dangerous place to be. And I, because I’m in a Body where we are accountable, with one purpose, to know Him, to love Him with all of our hearts and souls and minds and strength; because that is our purpose, even if we’re veering off the track, even if our hearts are not right. Because He has made us a Body, then we can say to each other, and He can say through any of us, you’re wrong here, there’s something wrong here. You are blind here. And I was blind, I was, I was chosen… I’d dug my own hole, I’d dug it deep and I pulled the dirt in over me. But I had so long ago chosen to be blind to it, that God really had given me over to my delusion over it. That’s the truth; that is Roman’s one. And that’s exactly what He did to me. But even with that, His mercies never fail. God is good, and His mercies endure forever. And even, even though I had done that, He came after me with a vengeance, but it was through Body-life that He came. And I am just so grateful. I am so grateful for that.
 

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