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with Martha Kilpatrick and John Enslow
With special guest Jennifer Wentzel
(M) Well, here’s what you said. I wrote it down Jennifer, “We think fear has legitimacy”. That’s a powerful statement. I wrote it in my journal. And fear and anxiety… anxiety is the new word; stress is the new word for the sin of fear. And you made the point that humanly, even in Christianity; we have every sympathy for the fearful.
(Jennifer) The peace, the freedom from that fear, on the other side, when you deal with it properly, which is to say, put it under the blood, repent, repent, repent. Dear God, forgive me, for not just believing this of You, but accusing You, and living it out, and doing it audaciously, with impunity.
(Jennifer) Forgive me for that. When you have done that, the bondage is broken. You’ve named it. He comes in and He delivers you, because it says, you know, this is not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear. He knows what fear is.
(Jennifer) And the peace that I have… I told Martha, I said it’s suddenly like realizing that you’ve had something gnawing at your spine for years and years and years. And you just live with it. You get used to living with it. And so the peace that comes with that, and just the bolder that runs off, and that gnawing that is ceasing, even for a moment, is certainly beyond… It’s certainly, it’s so merciful, and it’s wonderful. That no, I do feel like yelling, certainly at myself. No! You do not have the right to fear! (Laughing) And, and it’s, it’s, it’s just huge. And I think Carole … Like I get now that there was almost hesitancy because I hear it in me and I can’t quite get it out, just how devastating and crippling the fear is. And what’s worse is that here you are crippled and mangled in a trap of your own making I might say. You jumped in the snare and were like, yeah, You called it a snare, but hey! (Laughter) It’s how I feel, Lord. And you know, feelings are everything. Uhmm. And everybody around you says ‘there, there’. Good little person in the trap; yes, that’s just being human; that’s just how we are. You’re just feeling what you’re feeling; deal with it, it’ll come out. Here, take my hand, have some comfort.
(M) Have some food.
(Jennifer) Yes. When in reality that’s, you know. You’re, yes, you’re crippled and, and snared, but that’s because you were charging at The Almighty with a spear in your hand. That’s why you’re crippled, and that’s why you’re ensnared, because you attacked God.
(J) Hmhumm. Good night upon us.
(Jennifer) And that is, oh it’s devastating to think about. And I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be on my face spiritually for a while about this, because it is… It’s, it’s not passive. Fear is not passive. It is so active, and it is actionable, and it is violent and violating. But we don’t realize that it’s not just other people that we can use this weapon against; we wield it against God first by allowing it; by not just allowing it, but by fostering it.
(M) You know, I don’t think we actually believe you could live a life without fear.
(M) I have seen that that is His intent. Because He says over and over again, ‘oppression will be far from you, you will not experience the terror of the night.’ If, if we are willing to be brought to the place where that bondage is broken, we will face anything. And it’s all over scripture. David came to it. Through terror, he came to be free of terror. And I believe that that is where He’s leading us, and where He’s ministering to the Body of Christ through this little sphere that we have; that there is a place where fear is not an issue, and the only thing left is the reverence and awe of God. I want to live there.
(Jennifer) (Laughing) I want to be your neighbor there. (All laugh)
(M) Well, do you have anymore in your notes?
(Jennifer) Ah, no, that, that hits on everything I’ve got now.
(M) Ok, because I want to talk about something.
(M) Jennifer is moving to a lovely mountain cabin. And she’s not going to have her foot out the door. We are so excited for her. Now Jennifer’s a rather new believer, what, two years, or one?
(Jennifer) I’d say one.
(M) One year. She’s a new believer. Well, I got so excited about this. As soon as she finished I could say ok, Jennifer, you have captured the way to live. And you’ve captured it so young. I want you to remember this forever. That the way you live… And I’m writing about it in Daniel in the Manna. But the way to live is to hear God and search the scriptures. And if we don’t, we will die. I worked with someone recently, and I said I don’t hear from you the Voice and the Word. And she knew how, so she went back to it. But this is how you live; in private communion where you ask questions, you recognize the stirrings of the Spirit, and you begin to ask the questions and pray; and that’s prayer. Asking questions is prayer. Then you hear the Voice and you search the Word, and then you write down the revelation. And this is how you are filled with the Spirit day by day, the continuous flow of the Spirit. And if we leave that simple, basic way of living with God, we perish on every ground, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We perish without the Voice of God. And the thing I’m on is that Jesus said ‘man shall not live’, meaning man will die, ‘by bread alone’ (thank you), but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’. That means it’s individual, it is spoken, it is conveyed by God, and if you don’t have that personal Voice, you will die. But you’ve got that system; I want you to recognize that you’re operating in the… You could operate that way in jail; you could operate that way as a martyr, you could operate that way alone. And that’s how we’re to operate, and then come to the Body of Christ. That’s what happened this morning. You lived with God in a secret place. You shared it. Now the three of us are a Body, and the podcast will extend to the Body. You’re giving oil to the Body of Christ. Carole gave oil to you; you’re giving it to the Body of Christ. And it’s terribly exciting to me, because that’s what… that’s what keeps the Life flowing in the Body. That’s how the Body is organic. It’s Life in you and Life in us, and it comes together and it explodes to the world. In this little tiny place that we are, it’s going to the world. And I’m so proud of you, and I bless you, and I want you to take that, that system to the cabin and remember it. Because that, it doesn’t matter what we go through, that is the way to solve it. It’s the only way. It’s solved with Him, and He is complete and fully ah, satisfying. He has given you the whole package today, in more brilliance than I’ve seen or had, in more completion. He’s completed it with you. And He has taken your weakness and transformed it into His strength and His message. And I could just, I could yell too. When we finish we’ll go outside and yell. (Jennifer laughs) It’s so exciting, because it is the oil of the Spirit. It’s very, very simple, and very, very basic, but without it, you lose your life. It’s life and death. And the point I’m trying to make in the Manna is that to hear His Voice is not optional, it’s life and death. So, thank you. We got John over here early morning to get this down while the anointing was here. So I’m very, very grateful. And we bless you and ask God to just fill your cabin with treasures of His giving.
(Jennifer) Well uhmm, I was going to say, when you said take this with you that this is the way, that that was the nicest house warming present I think I’ve had; was that, imparting that wisdom, to say keep on with this. Because it does, I think it seems small when you constantly… At least me being new in my walk, I’m, I’m always a little unsure, and I always think to myself, should it be grander, should I be feeling more, should I be struck down? You know, and never quite knowing if, you know, a calm and quiet day is where I’m supposed to be. And is there something missing. And knowing that, you know, that you have to have the calm and quiet, and the time with Him to be filled before you get the ‘thunder-clap’. That, that is, that is a gift, that’s a gift to me that you’re sharing with me. So…
(M) Umm, good. I think the nature of the Lord Jesus was very quiet. He did not raise His voice in the streets. He did not snuff out the flickering wick. And the Holy Spirit is so unobtrusive, and that the product… He said ‘in the world you’ll have tribulation, but I’ve overcome the world, be of good cheer’. And ‘let not your heart be troubled, be in peace’. The fruit of the Spirit is peace. The peaceable fruit of righteousness is the fruit of chastening. And we think the fire… I still think the fireworks are better, and it’s not. (Jennifer laughs) The quietness and peace of His presence is really the gift that humanity needs. He says live a quiet life and work with your hands, mind your own business. So the quiet life… Really that’s what we have up here isn’t it Jennifer?
(Jennifer) Yes it is.
(M) Can you say that?
(Jennifer) Yes I can. I can say that. It’s quietness, it’s routine, and I, I will say the mundane. And in fact it’s, it’s a reflection of what I’ve seen demonstrated by my Mother for a long time now, which is a willingness to, to serve with quiet joy. And a lot of us are great on the big scene and catastrophe, or running around and doing the big things. But when it comes to simply getting up after a meal that someone else cooked and offering and or doing the dishes, a lot of trip and fall flat on our face and are not willing to get there. And up here what I see is lives lived in the simplicity, and with the quiet joy of that. And that’s, it’s pretty essential.
(M) Well, I don’t think the world knows the value of it. Until you taste it, in simple responsibilities, and taste the quiet of the Lord and the silence… This is a silent house isn’t it? (Jennifer and Martha laugh) Ah, it, it… the world doesn’t know that that’s what they need. And Christianity falls for the spectacular, and that’s the danger in these coming days, is that we are… If whatever’s grandiose and spectacular, we believe is real, and not necessarily. Most of the time it isn’t real. But the quiet majesty of the Lord coming in to rule is, is far more of Him and His nature than… His miracles were spectacular, but He often said people… said to people don’t tell it; don’t let it be known. So… Ah, I appreciate that you’re entering in to that, and liking it.
(Jennifer) Well, I was going to say there’s, there’s freedom in that. And I think you said that on the “CD of the Month” “Wise with Oil.” Responsibility is freedom. And what I’ve learned to appreciate is the small joys and peace that comes with…and I hate to say it because maybe this isn’t normal, but when you finish cleaning your room, when you finish cleaning up a kitchen, when you finish cleaning a bathroom, when you finish a task I think that there is an order that’s restored. And it’s work, and it’s healthy, and I don’t know all the ‘in’s and out’s’ of it, and I haven’t ‘gotten that’ yet, but there’s a peace that comes at the end of that I’ve found; if I’m just willing to do it. If I say this needs to be done, I’m going to do it. And if I let that be that, and I do it, at the end of it there is a peace. And there are not accidents (Jennifer laughs) in my life in the last year. So I’m going to say there’s no accidents in that. And I think that’s a gift. We just have to get to a place where we can see that a quiet moment and a clearing of the head and the body and the heart, that maybe that’s literally what it is. To be able to focus on one task, to finish that task, to do it well, and at the end of it say ok, this is good, moving on.
(M) You know it’s ‘faithful in small things’, and then He can trust you with great. I’m thinking of a time when my children were in high school and college. And a prominent Atlanta woman said to me, Martha, you’re too important to clean bathrooms, and I want to get you on the circuit. And I said no, no, no, no. No, my children need to see me do the basics, the undergirdings of life and I need to be at home because college years are still, I learned, college kids are still in need of a base.
(Jennifer) Yes, (Laughing) very much so.
(M) So it was, it was… The Lord had taught me as one who didn’t know true responsibility. He taught me that that is the basis of a valid life with Him. And based on that He can trust you with greater, greater things. So it is the core lesson that the Lord has infused this Body with, is… And given us the vehicle, really, through the internet, through John’s visions of the podcast and the internet that it can be given in a broader, broader way than we could possibly do. So thank you for seeing that, catching that. You caught it all on your own and embraced it. So I think that God’s real pleased with you. So… But God bless you for sharing and may there be much fruit for you out of it.